Don't You Get It?
by Lost Green Tiger
Summary: Sanji, don't you get it? I chose you over anyone else. Don't you get it? I never fucked around with feelings. I don't understand why I couldn't forget about you, why I couldn't move on from you. Sanji, what did you do to me?


_**A/N: Hello everyone, as you can see this is just oneshot. Wrote this last night because I was bored and kind of wanna run away from my other story (nervous laugh). I kinda tear up a bit when I wrote this (laughs). So, enjoy! Let me know if you like it or not! Review!**_

 _ **Ps: my grammar sucks (laugh hard)**_

 _ **oOo**_

 _ **Don't you get it?**_

This day, two years ago I knew you for the first time. We were from different city. We were getting close. We teased each other, calling names and shits. It was fun.

I might sound exaggerating, but I wasn't. You were the light I was missed, you were the water I was craved. Your smile, your laugh were my sources of energy. Your anger, your sadness were my weaknesses. You changed me. You made me feel alive again. You filled every single hole in my old dull soul.

I was still had _feeling_ with my childhood crush but after you came, you made me realized that it was no more than me being an admirer to her. What I felt when I was with you was different. I was scared at first because I didn't know what it was, but as the time goes by I wasn't scared anymore, because I knew it was you. I was happy when you said 'yes'.

I was happy with you talking about everything. Talk about your school. Your college life. Everything. We were always busy, but we never forgot to at least text 'hi'. Everything was fine, or so I thought.

Out of nowhere, someone came between us. A doctor with 'DEATH' tattoo.

You always talked about him. How awesome he was. How he treated you and bought you stuffs. _Met_ you in person even though he also lived in different city. Rich and always had the time with you. How could I beat that?

I let you go.

You said okay, we could still be friend. I couldn't tell you no. I still wanted to be with you. We talked lesser each day. I was letting you go, learned to live without you, but I couldn't. I couldn't move on.

And suddenly you came back. I was stupid you let you back because I knew I would fall deeper. Just for a short time before you said you wanted to have a deeper relationship with him. I don't understand why you even came back? Why you told me this? Why can't I hate you for that? I died that time.

You went back to him, and I . . . and I went back to myself.

I cut everything that left between us.

It was hurt.

 _I_ was hurt.

I was a stupid, I still am.

Till this day, two years later I still love you. Pathetic, right?

We talked again, talked everything about that day. I poured almost everything from my heart to you.

I lied when I told you I didn't know about your feeling for him. I knew. From the start.

I actually asked everything to myself before I cut the tie off. Why you said yes? Did you really mean it? Did you love me? Who was he? Were we real?

Don't you get it? I chose you over anyone else. You asked me why and how could I answer when I even asked myself the exact question?

And you knew that I still love you till today. And I know you still love him till today.

Someone asked me if I was sad. What even sad? After these past two years I couldn't feel anything. I tried to forget, but I couldn't. As the time goes by, I was just kind of lived with that. I was numb, I _am_ numb.

I always knew I would fall from the start.

And here I was, fell too deep. I was drowning. I let myself helplessly drowned without even trying to swim back to the surface. I don't know when till I reach the bottom.

As I was drowning, I could not tear my eyes from the light that illuminate the surface. Gold and silver waves. So beautiful. I couldn't swim back. My lungs hurt from the lack of the oxygen.

I let go the last breath I held, watching the bubbles that came from my mouth dance lazily back to the surface. Water swings in my lungs. I sink deeper. It hurts first, but as the time goes by I already used to feel the pain. It was hurt so badly, it burning.

I wish I never met you, knew you, and _love_ youin the first place.

Sanji, don't you get it? I chose you over anyone else.

Don't you get it? I never fucked around with feelings.

I don't understand why I couldn't forget about you, why I couldn't move on from you.

Sanji, what did you do to me?

.

oOo

 _ **A/N: please kill me *ugly sobs* this story is un-beta-ed**_


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